When the grandchildren of the victims guilt-trip the grandchildren of their wrong-doers

Human history is filled with quite some terrible things, and we've all been less than supportive and caring over each other. But, dearest grandchild of the grandchild of the grandchild of the black slave, is it fair to demand that little white boy to give you special attention and respect, because of something one of his family members "might" have done?
Not only it it quite a stretch to demand anything from a generation that has zero to do with whatever happened in the time before their birth, but who says anyone in his family was a slave owner.

Should the Germans of today go apologize to every newborn Jew?
Just when is it ever going to be enough?
And where do I belong on this scale? My grandfather is black. Should I pay up and get paid at the same time?

No one is anyone's slave anymore.
No one is being gassed in a chamber by a desperate jobless guy anymore.

For shit's sake, stop talking about it.

The claim that women can't drive

Instead of calling another group of people stupid because "it's so hilarious and true", let's look at the actual research and see how many of the people who crash and burn on the road, or make someone else crash and burn, are females.

Fart jokes

It's never been funny. Just never.

Square Enix characters

They all look the same, don't they.

I have a passion for their games, but I can't help but feel that in every game I find a character I've seen in another one of their games. All males have this feminine beauty-thing going on, as for the ladies, naturally, making all their characters the same smooth-skinned, perfect human beings wearing dubious clothes and having fabulous hair.

It's like this company fears ugliness.

Software that tries to install different software

Sometimes Always when you install software, no matter what software these days, there is a section to be found in the wizard where the software is trying to install a completely different program on your computer.
For example, you're installing a virus scanner, and the install is trying to include irrelevant browser toolbars as well. Or wants to change your homepage.

You can deselect the checkbox to prevent these kind of installs, but really, I remember a time where you could just click "next" on everything, without ending up with 15 toolbars raping my browser view and 12 useless shortcuts on your desktop for random software you didn't ask for.

My eye is trained to spot bullshit like this now, but it still baffles me to why this is still being done to people. No one wants this software; so the only people who end up downloading it are the people who missed the note, as it's often shown in a font that's 4 times smaller, or the by people who think they have to install it, otherwise the general install won't continue.
Because that's another thing some of these install wizards like to do: Blackmail you. "You need to install this, otherwise the installation cannot continue". And it's never been true.

When guys dance after being told they're not the father

You know those sleazy talk shows, where there's always a case going on about whether or not the woman sitting in the chair is telling the truth about who the father of her child is.
Too often, those women just want to leach onto a guy to take care of them and their child, and that's terrible enough. It's rarely an honest person sitting on the chair, who really just had intercourse with one man and actually knows what she's talking about. Especially in those kind of shows.

But still, I have to say that the biggest pieces of scum to be the men who jump up and start doing the monkey after they "jumped the bullet".

Way to put value in life, assholes. This is a child we're talking about, and here you are, dancing like a dick because you avoided start taking responsibility for something for once in your sad life.
"Responsibility" is like poison to these guys.

I understand it's really the woman making the claim you're laughing at, but it still involves a living being who didn't ask for any of this. Just, Jesus Christ.

When people want to be different

And end up becoming a group where they're, again, all the same.

In a world where everyone wants to be different, but don't have the creativity of their own to come up with something, no one's different. So, you were never really different to begin with.

What? That person has crazy hair with extensions and feathers and too much eyeshadow? That's so different, I'm going to do that, too.

Be happy with yourself for once, without insulting the rest of the world. The fact you see everyone else as those bland grey figurines surrounding you, and yourself as the one standing out in bright red is a level of arrogance this world doesn't need.
You do realise every single person thinks like this, right? We're all grey to each other, we're all special to ourselves.

There is nothing wrong with being the same or different, whatever you consider different, but people use the concept incorrectly. They only use it to distinguish them from the "boring outside world", damn those sheeps, but not when they have the capability to create or discover something big and helpful. Because they don't have that capability.
I only find whiny internet children leaching onto these "I'm special" quotes, and it's why we have emos and, let's be honest, Lady Gaga.

Stop trying so hard all the time.

The "real men/women have curves" battle

Real women are born with a vagina, real men are born with a penis.
The "realness" of one's gender isn't based on how much meat you have on your bones. Just clarifying that for all of you.

The names "Hope" and "Destiny"

Come on now. You don't call your child that.

Super heroes are our slaves

Of course we like to think that super heroes fight crime because that's what they want to do, since they are so good and perfect, but I feel like they are forced to do it by their mortal surroundings.

If you happen to have super powers all of the sudden, it's suddenly your job to protect the whole wide world, with a short side-story about human prejudice and fear to start off your adventures.
And this is what I like about the movie Megamind, as it talks about the issue super heroes face; the fact they are not allowed to choose their destiny, their own future.
Most won't even think about this fact, as we, as the reader, haven't really shown interested in what the super hero wants most of the time. So they were written as just going around town, being a flying super gun, without much personality.
Slap on that cape and be our unpaid army force, otherwise you'd be selfish.

If I happened to be able to breathe under water, is it suddenly my job to inspect and protect all the sea life in the world?

Even now I'm still waiting for a super hero movie that's about someone choosing not to help, the whole movie long, and just wanting to live his life. Would be boring, but it would also be a lesson. But it's hard to pull it off if you introduce evil, indestructible mutants and monsters in your movie. Who is going to take care of those?

When the law protects obvious criminals

We have this TV-show that interviews people who have been scammed, and they always manage to find the criminal, but the fact nothing really happens afterwards is astonishing.

You have all these victims, you caught the guy on camera running away from you like a pussy, so why isn't the police doing anything? Whenever the narrator explains they had the same guy on camera a year ago, or that he's been doing this for 18 years because the court keeps letting him go, I think to myself: Then what's even the point?

Crime pays.

The fact everything has to be a drama game show

I was watching Hell's Kitchen the other day, and as much as that show makes me laugh, I am still wondering what jumping over a 10 foot wall and crawling through mud in order to grab a lobster has anything to do with cooking.

And Hell's Kitchen is certainly not the only TV-show that tends to miss the point of its show sometimes.
To see talented candidates fall off just because they can't put a lasso over a pig seems like a terrible waste, and I wonder if these show hosts ever tried to talk to the directors about it. Especially the honest Gordon Ramsey; hasn't he ever walked into their office and said "What the bloody Hell are you donkeys doing with my chefs! Get out! Get out, Goddamnit!". Not only that, but the candidates in these shows are beyond terrible. There are always a handful of people who only exist for the drama, and have to show pure hate and disgust for everyone else.
It makes me wonder how real all of this really is.

For example: when you watch the American or Australian Masterchef, you sometimes feel like you're watching a soap opera. But then I watch my own version, and people are, well, people. Normal human beings who act how they would act around strangers.
They focus on their own work and progress, and don't waste time badmouthing someone else. We cause no drama.
Having that said, our version is rather boring, because we're all so used to the game-show insanity and drama, everything normal and honest puts us to sleep.

We are turning into horrible creatures.

Bland men with attractive wifes

Or ugly men with attractive wifes.

While I do believe that it's the inside that counts, I've never really understood it. There's only one thing worse than an ugly woman, and that's an ugly man. Lol. I dare to say there are too many of them. Lol again. 
But on a serious note: When I look at these settled men, wether they stopped caring or were just Lady Gaga'd that way, I wonder why they are always accompanied by women with great hair.

You see it in real life and television, and it stays a strange sight. Almost infuriating, sometimes. I have yet to see a blubbery, balding lady with a drop-dead gorgeous man, but it's always an Al Bundy with a Peggy, Homer Simpson with a Marge (who is apparently attractive), Peter Griffin with a Lois (who is apparently attractive), Mimi's parents in "Eliot Kid", and.. a Roger Rabbit with a Jessica.

Hell will freeze over sooner than we'll see a hairy, fat lady with a young toyboy portrayed in any media or in real life.

The monopoly on sex by men

Where all the sexy male prostitutes walking the streets at.
Where all the overload of dicks in TV-series at.
There are not enough slutty men in music videos starring "rich 'n pimpin" gangstah women.
More half-naked men on billboards everywhere, plz, my children need to see equality.

It stays remarkable how our surroundings keeps trying to use these sexual tricks to reel in the attention of men, while on the other side, there's Dr. House who reels in the attention of women by having a sense of humor and badass personality.

Come on, let's be honest here, give any random girl who's never heard of Hugh Laurie his picture. She'll probably won't call him more attractive than Twilight's Edward. And that boy has a strange face already.
The same case with Stephen Merchant, pretty much; no girl found him attractive until he provided the voice of Wheatley from Portal 2, and now everybody uses his lanky image as the human incarnation of the robot ball.
Even so, I'm not saying women aren't as shallow. I'm just saying it sometimes feels like there are more diverse women out there than men, in the sense women are still willing to discover a character's personality. They make a bland-looking or unattractive character look attractive for themselves.

So.
Somewhere in this article I was discussing the monopoly on sex.

Being told what animals are not okey to eat

Why is it accepted by our society to devour pigs, chickens, cows and sheep, but not the animals we consider "pets"? Or horses for that matter. Are horses better than cows? Horses are dicks. Cows are good people.
While you can still order horse at a restaurant near you, when you tell the average little girl you ate horse yesterday, you're a demon.

The argument that we shouldn't eat dogs and cats is either because they're "cute" or "smart enough to teach tricks to, so therefore you shouldn't stick it in your mouth", while I think "cute" is an opinion and people who mention the latter know nothing about pigs. Any animal is capable of learning at least something, and the animals we eat also have their own personality. They are not less valuable than any other animal.

It's interesting to see how different cultures put different values on animals.

Dreams

I love lying in bed and thinking of stories, but the images created by my unconsciousness are often less than pleasing.
 
I always have vivid dreams I often fully remember after waking up. My dreams tend to give me more stress than real life does, as I always seem to be trying to understand something, have to do some kind of big chore while the rest does nothing, go back to school, make right with the people who did me wrong, and dreams about my teeth falling out of my mouth rule my night life.
Sometimes I don't want to go to sleep, because I fear in what kind of Hell I'll find myself into next. I wouldn't quite qualify most of them as nightmares, either.

I have enough "normal" dreams, but the problem with experiencing dreams as real life is that when shit is going down, you'll just give yourself a heart attack someday and wake up dead. So, not wake up at all.

I wonder what to do about it, but there's never been a pattern.

Game of Thrones

I watched the first few episodes, and I am just not impressed by any of it.
It was all pointless sex scenes to me.

So again, I'm missing something about the "greatest thing ever currently on television". It gets tiresome sometimes.

Animal whisperers

Not like Cesar Millan, but like these annoyingly cheesy people who pretend to know what an animal is "saying".
Animals don't talk and hardly think, let alone ponder; and especially don't do it in the human language, never mind all the different languages out there, or in a language even slightly similar to ours.

To sit here and listen to some crazy hippy woman rambling to some dog owner that the dog "realises he's been castrated, but understands and wants his owner to stop regretting it" is just an amazing load of bull I can't get over. This scenario I actually saw on television.

But not only that annoys me, but also these regular pet owners who talk "for" their pets, and greeting cards of animals who look like they clearly don't know where the heck they are, but some cute text on the card is apparently showing the exact thoughts they had that moment.

"I love you from the bottom of my bark" says the tiny confused dog in the pink basket wearing a hat.
Yes, I'm sure he "said" that.

"Sassy" Western black women

Arrogant, loud, and just way too full of themselves. Every other woman is a "bitch" to them, and they have no respect for anything or anyone on the planet.

Also, show some respect to yourself and stop straightening your hair. Who told you curly hair isn't pretty.

Pink

I always disliked the colour pink, but now I'm older, I finally know why.

Pink is one of those colours that was basically "invented" by cooperations. For girls. Made to make money.
I find anything that has to seperate two genders from each other to be bullshit, which is also why the colour blue gets a frown, but it hurts my eyes less, so I'll give it a pass.

Pink is like the eyelashes on a female cartoon character, pink is like the ribbon in Minnie Mouse's hair, while really, she looks like Mickey Mouse in every single way. But a few cliché female touches takes care of that, apparently.
It doesn't matter what kind of girl you are; if you have that extra hole in your body, they're adding you to the pink team. Those goth ladies and tomboys must be thrilled, especially.

I don't understand why so many girls go with it, either.
Either they've just been brainwashed by their surroundings since birth, as we've all accepted pink to be the colour of their genetalia at this point, or maybe it is the conclusion of a very long and deep scientific research that pink is what appeals to the female gender, because eyeballs and brain registration and shizzle.
I just made myself laugh, so that must totally be it.

Smiling cartoon animals on butcher signs

It's not something that annoys me, but when you think about it, these kind of mascots for these kind of instances are the creations of a psychopath. And we're okey with it. So, we are also psychopaths.

All these cute cartoon pigs and chickens look just thrilled about you buying from the companies that slice them up. Can you imagine a truck transporting human flesh with a smiling human mascot on the truck giving you a thumbs up?

Never mind that we don't eat human meat, but the cheery mascot would certainly make it worse.