Time

Often enough I wish I could live forever. Not in the sense I'd be dragging on my death, but simply that I'd stay young. No use in being old and slow the rest of your eternal life.

A simple concept, used alot in movies and stories. Though, all those stories have something in common; the immortal person is miserable. They see everybody they love die or they simply can't have friends, or a partner, because those "fortunate" people will question that person's eternal youth eventually. And die.

So, why do I even have this craving. Am I scared of death? Fuck that crybaby shit, death is nothing because it gives nothing. It gives grief to your "loved ones", but it literally gives you nothing.
Alot of people are scared of that nothing, and that's another reason why religion was invented. Personally, I am very content with the nothing. Why should I care about what happens to me. I'm dead and it ends there.
Your soul isn't like a recording machine, neither does it replace the brain when you're dead. You are not smiling down at your son or daughter, or help them with their bullshit-super-difficult life in the afterlife. You are dead, there are no memories of anything, there is nothing that comes after.
Though, I was always fond of the idea of living forever in the form of reincarnation. Reincarnation is an interesting concept, but let's just pretend you're able to get reborn everytime with all your previous memories intact; THAT would be a torture. Going through the neverending horrors of school, finding a job, saying "mama" to a different mother everytime, is not what anyone would consider a gift.

But living forever, the life you have now, would be just great. Today I discovered why; namely, I don't have enough time.
My mind is like a creative supercomputer and my body like a dead snail lying in a pile of salt. I am too slow and too lazy to do all the things, that I personally consider brilliant, before I'm dead. Of course, alot of ideas a pretty bad, but I usually discover that when I already performed it.
Summer Vacation is almost over. While school seemed like an eternity, Summer Vacation seemed like just one week. I don't want to work the rest of my life, though the problem is that since my own hobbies are basicly work, I'm always working. When I have school, I'm working. When I don't have school, I'm working. When school is over, I'll have to find a job and work. People work so they can live so they can work so they can live.
Humans have no respect for the human life. While it's obvious that slackers don't really deserve the same things a working man does, I think it's not so obvious that people are being trained to work the moment they are born.
"Isabelle, walk, Isabelle! Yes, put the square block in the square hole! Now do a test to prove to the world you're capable of learning."

Makes sense. Your child should learn to walk as soon as possible, because in the city there are always lions waiting behind the trashcans, looking for prey. And I'm pretty sure that as long your child isn't blind, it'll eventually realise in which hole the block goes. Children need less training than adults think, and if we gave them the oppertunity to be a child, then we didn't end up like me. Regretting getting old so fast.

Unless I get hit by a truck, half my family will most likely die before me, anyway. They're older than me, and seem less healthy than me.
I'm a slave to my passions, and the fact I won't be able to share every tiny bit of my work and every tiny bit of my mind with the world saddens me.