5/17/2011

Rango


"Rango is a smart, giddily creative burst of beautifully animated entertainment"
?

What the shit?
Looks like a piece of crap to me.

Rottentomatoes disappoints me once again.

I've hardly seen such a boring, ugly, over-religious, unoriginal "creative burst" ever in my life. Apparently I missed something, since the community and the critics just seem to go wild for it.

This is not a masterpiece. Far from it. The story has been done before and all the characters were lame, dumb and hideous as can be. If want to see ugly characters with an IQ below 0, I'll go watch "Horton Hears A Who". But the problem is that the Horton characters are fantasy creatures in a fantasy world, while the characters in Rango try to portray real humanbeings from the West. Of course from a couple of years ago; but nobody liked those prejudging, God-obsessed assholes either, so why make a movie out of it with an all-animal cast? Or a better question, why make it a 3D CARTOON.
Saying this movie was for adults does not change anything. I am an adult. I was not entertained.
If this movie is too boring to keep the attention of small children and just too lame for adults to even want to sit through, then where does this movie belong? Not in the top list.

Though, it's nice to see an animated chameleon looking like an actual chameleon (so far) for once, without having big Disney-eyes inserted into its skull. I'm looking at your lizard, Rapunzel.


The rest of the characters looked like they tried to have a personality, but they didn't. This includes Rango's sudden love interest, who makes the ant princess from "AntZ" look like a top model. She had no purpose in the movie other than to complain about how she was going to lose her land, how her daddy wasn't a drunk fuck who killed himself, and to get heart attacks that makes her freeze over for no reason. It was also never explained what animal she's supposed to be. I think somewhere in the movie it was mentioned she was a lizard, but someone please tell me, what kind of lizard is this freak of nature supposed to be?


Rango himself was also a very confusing charater; first he seemed like a friendless loser, then a wimp, and other times he just seems to be a complete asshole. It was like they didn't know what personality to give him, so they gave him everything.

The only cool character AND thing in this entire movie was the snake with the guntail. Hardly have I seen a character so intimidating and badass.

I would've cared less about this movie and its blandness, but when Rottentomatoes dares to give something so much credit, for absolutely nothing, it just feeds my anger.